So Punny!

Some of these are real groaners....but still fun.



1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was
Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but
it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class
because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a
little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll
still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited
for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result
in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.


11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The
police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the
hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here,
I'll go on a head.'

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting
bigger. Then it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said:
'Keep off the Grass.'

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a
hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he
was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a
small medium at large.

20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is
now a seasoned veteran.

21. A backward poet writes inverse.

22. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In
feudalism it's your count that votes.

23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of
religion.

24. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe
sects!