Well it finally happened….the Feds caught up to me. Yes, today I had an official visit from an Official Government Official. Showed me his badge and everything. Since I’m doing work for the Government (Department of Defense to be exact) I had to have an in-depth background check complete with fingerprints. Dang, now they can find me to pay those speeding tickets! The really funny thing is that I have been doing this work since 2003 and they are just getting around to doing the check. Aw, the blinding speed of our government. By now I could have given away all kinds of top secret stuff, except I don’t really know anything that important.
I had to bribe the people I used as references so they would say nice things about me. OH, the Feds are probably monitoring our blog and will now have to kill me so let me say I was just kidding about the bribe thing.
He had some interesting questions like: Are there any disputes with your neighbors. I started thinking about the other night/morning when Deena and I were making such a racket to get the shed open to get out the 12 foot ladder but decided not to mention it. He asked if there was anything in my past that people could use to blackmail me. There was an incident at a Heart concert I went to right after my mission but decided this was definitely not the time or person to share that. He asked me if I used alcohol. When I said no he asked why not? I gave the typical LDS answer: Because it’s against my religion? He laughed and said that was an acceptable answer. (Only in Utah) As he kept firing away it started to feel a little like a temple recommend interview….Are there any people in your past….have you ever….those kind of things. He asked me who I hung out with????? What are my hobbies…I was tempted to say shooting my Uzi but thought that might be going too far even as a joke. I am feeling extremely checked out. I kept wondering if he was trying to tell if I was lying about anything. I wasn’t but was still paranoid that I was giving off bad vibes.
Man, between this and the smoke alarm, this week has been just too exciting. I need a nap!
8 comments:
Our friend, Jim Fillerup is an Aero Space Engineer and is always flying out to other countries. He is over all the South American Countries. He just bought a fine Italian wool suit and had special made white shirts to fit him perfectly, at Utah Wollen Mills-rather mysterious for a down to earth Wyoming farm boy. Diane said he took half her money for remodel of her kitchen. His entire life of working for the government when he is asked what he does for work rather than explain what he does, probably to complicated for most of us regular folks, he just always states that if he told you he would have to kill you and then laughes his head off. He did this again this past week, as we had lunch with them. Their daughter lives here in Utah so we get together when they come see her and together when we go see Amy, since they live in Manassas, Virginia.
He got us into the Pentagon and we shopped at the store inside and saw the part being repaired after 9-11. Kim really blew his security and we didn't think he was going to get in. He just went about things wrong upon entrance. The guards are everwhere with their uniforms, impressive hardware and their stoic intimidating faces. Katrina bought the deck of cards with the "Most Wanted" faces from Iraq/Iran on the playing cards. We thought of opening several doors with certain names on them, but wanted him to keep his job and for us to leave alive.
Now you can just tell people if you told them what you do for a living you would have to kill them. You must have a really important job! :O)
Ohhhhhhh, scary! Your intimidating! i would have left out the Heart concert moment too ;) what happens at concerts stays at concerts, or something like that.
It sounds like it went well, and I have yet another funny Treena story to enjoy.
Me intimidating? Don't make me laugh. The scariest thing I do is leave the house without makeup. My job is not all that important and I don't really know anything that secret which is why this whole back ground check is so funny to me. Our tax dollars at work I suppose.
Someday I will probably share the Heart concert story. It's one of the funniest things I think that has ever happened to me. At least I thought it was funny.
this is hilarious. I can't imagine how scary it must have been. I freak out if there's a police officer in the room. he doesn't even ave to be on duty. Just the presence, ohhh scarry.
I'll admit, I was a little nervous about the whole thing but he was pretty nice. Not at all like the guys on TV.
Just wait until he shows up with the lie detector machine....
Hmmmmm....do you have some experience in this area you would like to share??
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